[He growls, grits his teeth into a forced "smile" you know as much as the most hideous curse ever can do such a thing to the man, and mentally howls. She figured it out. Of course she did.]
As you command my lady.
[This is literally just as bad as last year's Christmas curse where his swears got gradually more and more ridiculous and not at all swear-y. He hates this he hates this he hates this he hates this --]
[ALSO EW SHE TOUCHED HIM! SHE TOUCHED HIM GROSS. HE HAS PIRATE COOTIES NOW.]
[So he grumps over to the bathroom like a zombie, strangely bewildered by the sudden knowledge of its location and runs the hot water before going back to the living room. He woodenly tidies it up, and before he can even TRY to flee, he's forced to go get clothes. Oh. His. Fucking. God. There is no God. There is only torture.]
[The clothes are...]
[Clothes.]
[Please like Smoker has fashion sense.]
[The man doesn't believe in buttons. Or zippers.]
[Whatever, so he looks for warm layers.]
[And he tries to remember her sense of style from when she was... four or something? And then he just gives up and gets something that looks like outside lingerie so far as he's concerned.]
no subject
As you command my lady.
[This is literally just as bad as last year's Christmas curse where his swears got gradually more and more ridiculous and not at all swear-y. He hates this he hates this he hates this he hates this --]
[ALSO EW SHE TOUCHED HIM! SHE TOUCHED HIM GROSS. HE HAS PIRATE COOTIES NOW.]
[So he grumps over to the bathroom like a zombie, strangely bewildered by the sudden knowledge of its location and runs the hot water before going back to the living room. He woodenly tidies it up, and before he can even TRY to flee, he's forced to go get clothes. Oh. His. Fucking. God. There is no God. There is only torture.]
[The clothes are...]
[Clothes.]
[Please like Smoker has fashion sense.]
[The man doesn't believe in buttons. Or zippers.]
[Whatever, so he looks for warm layers.]
[And he tries to remember her sense of style from when she was... four or something? And then he just gives up and gets something that looks like outside lingerie so far as he's concerned.]